The Hell That Is (Not) Getting In Shape

My blog posts have been pretty few and far between lately. I've been in a funk. A crawling through the mud down and dirty funk. Why you ask...

Well, I saw a photo of myself recently and had an out of body experience. This is how it went:

Phase 1-denial: Someone stole my face and body!
Phase 2-anger: Give them back you chunky diva!!!
Phase 3-bargaining: If I eat one less healthy cookie a day I can lose weight.
Phase 4-depression: I'm fat and always going to be fat.
Phase 5-acceptance: I need to get off my fat keister and do something about this.

The mirror is a liar. A faker who only lets you see what you expect (want) to see. Never believe a mirror. Believe a photo.

In the last five years, I've tried a lot of different things to lose the weight. I walked 10,000 steps a day and used my fitness pal to track my eating. I may have lost a pound or two, but I couldn't appreciate it because I was too busy thinking how hungry I was on the 1,200 calorie a day diet. My first attempt at running again ended in absolute ripped muscle failure because I over-trained. Then I gave up for a while, went back to stress eating, and gained even more weight.

Where I started five years ago: 135 pounds and a body mass index of 20.

Where I am now: 164 163 162  160.5  154.5 148.5 pounds and body mass index unknown (Thank Goodness!)

{Update: I plateaued at 160, so I combined exercise with Weight Watchers (old system) to keep losing.}

I joined a running group seven weeks ago, and the routine is fantastic. I'm not sure what my starting weight was, because I refused to get on the scale until the third week. I've only lost 1.5 since that first weigh in, but the pounds will continue to drop as my mileage and endurance increases. {I read somewhere that it takes 35 miles to lose a freaking pound!-Someone please tell me it isn't true.} This week I finished a practice run of Muscogee (Creek) Nation's Festival 5K course with my running group, so I'm feeling preeetttty good!

In a couple of weeks the group is moving on to half marathon training. Even back in my hard-core runner days, I never ran more than 5 miles. I'm excited!

I don't want to give the impression that every minute has been as enjoyable as cheese and wine on a blanket in the park. The first two weeks were BRUTAL. Here in Oklahoma we have days above 90° with almost 100% humidity. On those days, I feel like I'm either going to puke or I'm going to die. Or maybe both. But I keep going.

So if you're feeling like a fat girl, join the club. We chunky girls gotta stick together. Remember there are more of us than there are of them. We deserve to feel good about ourselves, too.

We can do this. Together. You and me. I got your back. Let's run!

Always consult your qualified personal health care provider before making any dietary or exercise changes.

My routine ~ source unknown
Recommended App ~ Map My Run

5K Training

Week One

Monday Run 1 minute, Walk 1 min x10
Wednesday Run 2 minutes, walk 4 minutes x5
On Your Own Run 2 minutes, Walk 4 min x5
Week Two

Monday Run 3 minutes, Walk 3 minutes x4
Wednesday Run 3 minutes, Walk 3 minutes x 4
On your own Run 5 min, walk 3 min x 3
Week Three

Monday Run 7 minutes, walk 2 minutes x 3
Wednesday Run 8 minutes, walk 2 minutes x 3
On your own run 8 min, walk 2 min x 3
Week Four

Monday Run 8 minutes, walk 2 minutes x 3
Wednesday Run 10 min, walk 2 min x 2,
 5 min run
On your own Run 8 min, walk 2 x 3
Week Five

Monday Run 9 min, walk 1 min x 3
Wednesday Run 12 min, walk 2 min x 2
5 min run
On your own Run 8 min, walk 2 x 3
Week Six

Monday run 15 minutes, walk 1 min x 2
Wednesday Run 8, walk 2 min x 3
On your Own Easy 3.1 miles
Week Seven

Monday Group Run 5K Course
Run on your own x 1
Week Eight

Monday Group Run 5K Course
Wednesday 2 Mile Run
Final Week
5k Race